“Sharks. Why has it always gotta be sharks”
Sharknado 5 has hit UK TV screens and I sat down to watch the premier – obviously. In this fifth installment of the most ridiculous movie series of all time, the sharks are back, and this time they’ve gone global.
The story begins at Stone Henge, where in the caves beneath lie ancient artifacts and paintings depicting the terror that is the Sharknado. Two of our ‘heroes’ Nova and Fin decide its a really clever idea to go all Indiana Jones and remove an ancient stone from the caves…not knowing that it will trigger – you guessed it – a Sharknado!
That’s right everyone, one of our most treasured prehistoric landmarks is really a portal for a TORNADO MADE OF SHARKS.
Now I don’t want to go too far into the plot because this film is so full of cameos and surprises, I wouldn’t want to ruin it for anyone, but I will point out a few of my favourite moments.
- Only eight minutes into the film and a baby shark was punched square in the face.
- My favourite way to kill a shark: Parkour kick it off of a London bus whilst Bret Michaels shreds on the guitar.
- The Sharknado is in full force, and we hear the very British line “What are we supposed to do, we’re stuck in traffic” (all too real).
- The ladies from Good Morning Britain announcing “The Sharknado is heading towards Buckingham Palace. The Queen is trapped inside as all entrances are blocked by sharks”.
- My first ever religious experience was watching this film – just look out for The Pope’s cameo…
- Tara Reid’s scream.
- The ‘Safarinado’
A few years ago I visited Rome’s Trevi Fountain, just like Tara Reid’s character in the film (because even when you’re trying to save the world from a Sharknado, you can still find time for a Lizzie McGuire moment) and honestly I can’t remember what I wished for, but I’m pretty sure it was Sharknado 5.
Seriously though, I do recommend watching it if you’re just up for a laugh. It has hilarious Z-List celebrity deaths, countless references to classic movies, and the most ridiculous one liners.
Oh…and if anyone is wondering what I’m up to this weekend, I’ll be at Stone Henge, clearing my thoughts and trying to summon my own Sharknado.